“Twenty years has gone so fast, Wake me up when September ends”
I love this Green Day song and I hate September. I was never a big fan of it as child, because who wants to end the summer holiday. As an adult my negative feelings just grew stronger thanks to the past few years.
Every September the school starts and my city becomes louder and more crowded. It looks like everybody’s life on track again. Every person has a purpose, a goal something to aim for and go. While I am stuck in the middle of big nothing. This year not just me, but my family too. We are here and our life don’t go further, not even back. Just one little step would be enough to change everything.
I’ve already started to learn to my exam, which I will have in January. I’ve been already nauseous from the thought of it. I finished my big project and I started smaller ones, but during all that my life hasn’t changed. I am stuck. No job for me, for my brother or for some of my friends. We should have big plans and hopes and only thing we have the dark ordinary days without a future and it sucks the life out of us.
So here I am, my shoes nailed to the ground and I am still hopeful. I am waiting for something. No, not for the end of September or some brilliant news. October will come and some good news will too, hopefully. But I need something different I need an impulse. I need a moment, a secret message, a little magic something which gives my life back. An impulse which will knock me out from my nailed-to-the-ground shoes. It doesn’t matter, if it’s a step back, I can live with it. I can start again. Just please dear life give me that impulse which would rewire my brain to go on. I don’t want to hate September. I want to be one of people on the streets with a goal, with a purpose. I’ve already aiming for something but it’s still far until then I need something.
Dear fate please be nice give me an impulse and let me go on my way. I am waiting…
Inhibition 