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Meditation – It can be dangerous(Suzy’s story)

Once I was concerned with the subject of the side effects or dark side of meditation, which I’d heard about by an article. Now I would like to talk a little bit more seriously about this topic.

I spent the weekend with my wonderful friend and I stayed at her place. As every time I have a sleep over at somewhere else I usually kindly ask my host to give me a few minutes to meditate. My second act to invite them to meditate with me, give it a try. Generally everyone refuses it, just like my friend did too, but she had a good reason. She is afraid from meditation. Don’t judge! She explained to me what happened with her friend and why she has bad feelings about it. I asked her to let me share her friend’s story here, because it can be really helpful for someone, but at first let me give this person a name to make the story comprehensible. Please let me tell you Suzy’s story.

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My Art:Depression – ‘Curl-Up’ Syndrome

In an earlier post, I wrote about an experience which I just named ‘Curl -Up’ Syndrome. I still fight it once in a while, but finally I was able to express that feeling by my art, and I made a picture about it. I don’t want to explain again this syndrome, I linked the post as you can see, just let me tell you this is a strong and dark experience which is able to rule me. This is the part of my depression and my goal is to defeat it.

Continue reading My Art:Depression – ‘Curl-Up’ Syndrome

Small things that still hurts

My father accident was a little bit more than your ago, but there are still little things which are around a house like a ghost to remind us what happened. He is not as active as before or he doesn’t sit at his favorite place any more in the living room. Something is not the same. He says less jokes and smiles only occasionally.

There is one things which I hate the most to see.

He does not eat Popcorn anymore.

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Book:Life After Death – The Shocking Story of an Innocent Man on Death Row by Damien Echols

I have a list about movies from the 90’s I should see. One of them was the documentary called Paradise Lost. This tells the story of the Robin Hills killings, where three eight years old boy were killed and the witch hunt against three innocent boy after that. One of them was Damien Echols, the writer of this book.

In all, there are four documentaries, two more episodes of Paradise Lost and another one, produced by Damien and his wife Lory, called West of Memphis. If you want to know about the story you can watch them. If you want to know more about Damien you can read the book. Personally, I watched the movies and read the book.

Continue reading Book:Life After Death – The Shocking Story of an Innocent Man on Death Row by Damien Echols

Meditation – Good Thoughts

I just read this article , which explains how the right meditation is able to reshape your mind. It’s nice one I recommend you to read it. Anyway one thing which really got my attention was the right thoughts, more precisely the happy ones.

When I started to meditate I read a tons about it, and still these days I try to develop my knowledge by articles, books, anything. Mostly, they tell you to concentrate to your breathing. So the first, and one of the hardest, lesson was to empty your mind and learn to breath. I learned it. I know to focus to my breathing and empty my mind to getaway from this world just for a few minutes.

With time I learned how to use meditation to deal with my problems, how to boost my creativity. I soon recognized all the positive effects on me, in addition my family and friends started to feel it too. I became more patient. I was able to handle stress and stressful situations better. I became a new kinder person. All these because of mediation.

I usually try to be better in it and learn new things like meditate a few minutes longer or in different circumstances. The point is, I try to find the challenge in it, so I will be able grow. In this article, I read about something, which was interesting and I thought it could be a great new step for me. From now on I will focus my mind to nice and pretty thoughts, because it can help you to be more positive, relaxed and happy.

I just started and I have to tell you it’s not easy. I found it quiet difficult to change one of the basics. I don’t really know, how to describe it right now, because this  is new for me and I am still learning. But I promise I will keep you up to date with my experiences.

Let’s focus and think to something great!

Music: Michael Kiwanuka

I have been sitting on this post for a while now. At least once a week I listen Michael Kiwanuka music to try to define why it is so good. I am not sure, if I can explain it, but I think, it’s time to give it a try.

Michael Kiwanuka is an English soul musician. Before his solo carrier, he was a session guitarist and worked with other musicians. He supported Adele during her tour in 2011, but luckily now he is focusing to his solo carrier.

His soul style keep the elements of the genre, but he was able to modernize it. His music is real and fresh next to our days popular songs.

His two albums are called Home Again (2012) and Love & Hate (2016). You may know him by the song ‘Cold Little Heart’, which was the intro music of HBO series Big Little Lies. I admit it this is how I found his music.

I planned in different ways how I should describe his music and songs. I should go one by one? Or just choose one or two from the albums? But none of it was the right way. Personally, I love when I can’t choose a favorite song. In this case, I wasn’t able to. There is no way to sit down and listen only one song from this guy. I need the whole thing, because it puts me in a mood, gives me an atmosphere that I want to stay in a whole hour and not just five minutes. His voice is soothing and alluring at the same time. By it he leads the instrument with a strong hand. Sometimes he let a guitar or a drum to go and be wild for a few moments, especially at the end of the songs, but when it’s necessary he easily retracts the control. The back vocals are beautifully balanced. The whole experience is just magical.

I usually into rock music, especially if its alternative, but right here right now Michael Kiwanuka is able to steal my soul and heart to make me cheat my favorite genre. Perhaps, it’s not my best introduction of the musician, but believe me when I say you have to go and listen him with your own ears and you will immediately realize that you need him in your life.

(His Facebook and Twitter )

Meditation – Sleeping Paralysis

I haven’t really thought about it, until I read this article, but I realized that meditation is really helpful with my sleeping paralysis.

Before I tell you why, I should make it clear, what I talk about. Earlier in a post, I mentioned my sleeping problems and in the article you can read specifically more about sleeping paralysis, but just to be in the swim, in a nutshell:

Sleeping paralysis when you are in the middle of your REM phase. (No I don’t mean the great music band.) This is the time when you experience your most vivid dreams and, if you wake during that it can go wrong.  When you experience it your mind is sort of awake, but your body is paralysed. Your mind and body not in sync.

In addition, usually the last picture of you dream is “burned” on your eyes, which means you will see all kinds of creatures, demons or people around you in the moment when you open your eyes. For some people sleeping paralysis only takes a few second, but it can be even a minute or minutes long too.

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The Magical Mist

In the end of the street, just 2 minutes walk from my house, there is a dam and the other side of it a river. It’s always pleasant place to have a nice walk. The road is well paved without bumps and it’s loud from bird chirping. Because of it, the dam and the riverside become easily crowded as the Summer arrives. However, during the Fall sometimes everything changes and becomes empty. It’s wet and cold. The crows and starlings are everywhere. When this happens you have a chance, once in a while, to walk into the magical mist with friendly ghosts, because it comes to rule the area.

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My Art:Depression – Face of my Fears

Once again a picture that I drew. It’s not the best, because it’s much more harder to make a picture about something, which only exists in your head. I know that this thing is only an ugly monster of my imagination. I know it well and still, since my early childhood, I fear it more than anything. However, at least I have some sort of idea where it came from. Let’s see what is the story of it.

Continue reading My Art:Depression – Face of my Fears

Meditation – something unexpected

I promised I will write about meditation again, if I experience something new. Here I am, which means something happened, something unexpected.

When I started to meditate I decided about the minutes and during the first week I learned that I shouldn’t have run. I wanted to meditate longer and longer and soon I burned myself. Instead of develop the skill of patience I just became greedier. Fortunately, I realized after the first week that patience was an important key of the whole thing.

After that I slowly built up the minutes of my meditation, I’ve only increased it when I knew I was able to do it. I was happy and proud of myself with my first 10 minutes. It was months ago. In addition, I think it was at least a half year ago. Since that, I haven’t changed anything. Honestly, I was a coward. I was afraid that I would fail. I though I bit off more than I could chew.

Here comes the unexpected, I didn’t have to do anything, it changed by itself. I was really excited at the beginning. I meditated 15 minutes without deciding and planning, it just came to me. It happened first about two weeks ago and I couldn’t wait to share it with you Dear Reader. But I didn’t want to talk about it before I wasn’t sure. Now I am. I do it everyday I still plan to do 10 minutes, but I always do 15 if nobody disturbs me. (Such as when my cats decides that my stable sitting pose is especially for them to climb on me.)

Anyway, I really think when finally your mind and the meditation on the same way it will slowly develop and by experience now I know I am right.