Do you know the song which I mentioned in the title? I do and I love it. It doesn’t matter if we talk about the original Beatles song, or the David Bowie cover, this song is always magical.
You remember when your literature teacher said that the author had wanted to express his feelings about something something by this poem or novel etc. . Damn, I hated when they talked like this. Personally, I think that yes, an artist or author or just a person uses their momentary feelings to express themselves by art, but I really think that everyone has the right to interpret it as they want to. For example, you love this catchy love song from the radio and it means a lot to you because of the lyrics or a memory, you feel that it was written for you. Unfortunately, in reality two guys were high on pot and they wrote the song while they were waiting for their pizza. It wouldn’t be a pretty thing to figure out, that it wasn’t a man who needed a woman to love him. It was two guys who felt they would have died without a slice from their favorite pizza. Don’t you think? So yes perhaps the writer had an idea, but you don’t have to have the same one when you meet his art.
The song,Across the Universe , which I don’t know while was written, on purpose I didn’t look after it, it means to me two things a bad and a good one. Let’s start with the bad one. I hope that sooner or later it will change and the song and my momentary feelings won’t connect anymore in this way.
So I failed my exam again, not just me all of us. We could do anything but nothing was enough our teachers. I want to say that I was stupid that obviously I was the problem, but when 15 of us failed it, I just couldn’t blame myself anymore. Especially when I studied day and night, in the past one and the half months I was sick like a pregnant woman in the first 3 moths. Nausea became my close friend and stress coughing tried to choke me. Here I am, stuck in the middle of nothing because without this exam I can’t go on to write my thesis and finish school. The jobs are really rare here, but most of them don’t want me without my paper the other half of them won’t let me to finish my studies. Still there is a huge chance that even, if I finish school, I will be stuck in unemployment but at least I will have that stupid diploma. So few days ago after the crying I couldn’t think anything just the line in the song “Nothing’s gonna change my world”. Yes, it looks like that right now nothing, sadly.
Let’s see the good part of it, the one which I always want to associate with not just that one line but the whole song. I am the strange girl here in my own little environment, but it’s not a problem anymore, however, for a long a time I struggled to accept it. Now I am okay with myself and happy to be who I am. This is what the song means to me. It does not matter what will come in my way, it will not change my weird, music addict, curious and, for most of the people, strange world of mine. Of course, I will change and my little world too, but it will be still incredible and beautiful.
I hope soon I can get myself together and I will be able to get over this obstacle in my way to go on with my life. The most ridiculous part of it, that I don’t want the job, which I will be able get by my diploma, but here you can’t dream. First you have to have some foundations and then you have the right to dream a bigger picture for yourself. Mostly a house, husband and kids what people dare to want, but not me. I’ve already work hard to reach mine. I guess everything happens with a reason and maybe this obstacle in my way is there to help me get closer to my real goals, until then I still have the song to remind me that everything’s just fine in the way it is.
“Jai guru deva om
Nothing’s gonna change my world…”