To be honest I am the worst kind of person. I always need some sort sign to know I achieved something. I need feedback about my work, writing or anything. This is a horrible habit and I work really hard to leave it behind myself, but it’s not easy.
I have the same problem with mediation too. My ridiculous personality is constantly waiting for a sign. I had more than one but it was a long time ago, so I need something new. You know why? Because this is what makes me go forward in everything. I have to feel successful even in meditation.
So here I am. I do my meditation every week and I hope that the next day I may feel or do something differently because of it. Every little parts of my body know this is not how it works and still my farcical personality is just pushing that button in me.
Stupid signs , stupid bad habits, stupid personality flaws.
Okay I need some mediation. Bye.