Now my meditation time is between 12 and 15 minutes. The next step should be a stable 15 minutes every day. My main goal is to reach a 20 minutes long meditation. I don’t need more or less of it, just to have 20 real minutes where I can concentrate and relax. However, I have problem which I don’t know how to handle. I can’t come out of meditation, as easily as before.
I know when I reach my 12 minutes because I feel a kind of calmness and relaxation which is incredibly comforting. The problem is that when I reach this point I don’t know how to stop. I don’t wanna stop. Why would I? It makes me feel safe and peaceful. I guess this is one of the challenges of the meditation too, because as you learn to do it, at the same time you have to learn how to stop it.
I believe that even though I don’t see it. I am sure that mediation makes real changes in me somewhere deep down in my mind, somewhere near to my subconscious. And when I face a problem with my meditation like this I have to learn to deal with it. Nevertheless, with this lesson I learn something else too, which I will be able to use in the future. I may not know how to describe it, or when or how I will use it, but I know it’s there.
But first I have to find a solution. More precisely I have to be strong enough to stop. I am the leader during my mediation and not vice versa. It won’t be easy because believe me when I say it’s great to be there. It’s like you are in a different dimension. I love the feelings and how I am capable to see myself from the outside. In turn I can’t hide behind it and I have to face the world once in a while. I know I can do it and sooner or later I will learn how to stop but right now I can’t stop.