Pretty or smart

I was never a classic pretty girl.When I was a teenager I had blackheads and acnes and I always thought that I am fat.Now,finally I have a clean (usually pale but nice)face.I had to realize that I was never really fat and now I am in a great shape(and after all I still can’t buy clothes myself so easily because with 5feet and 8inches I am too tall for the market,it’s ridiculous). I am still not the kind of girl that the world would define as beautiful but you know what I am happy with myself and this is what I need to be pretty.(Except those ugly and fat days when you wake up with the feeling that nothing is okay with you,I am sure you know what I talk about.)

When I wasn’t that happy with my look I always told myself no problem because I am smart and it’s more important.To be honest in my small world as a child or teenager it wasn’t that hard to be smarter than the kids around me.I was really well read and curious child (as I still I am) .However, the Internet slowly became the part of my life.Now I speak English ,I’m quite close to have a business degree but you know what I don’t think that I am smart anymore.Because I fell that I still don’t know enough.I think it’s really important to somehow challenge myself every day by read a really hard article, or physically with new yoga moves or my cultural,music or English knowledge.Every day I realize I still don’t know enough because as an adult I don’t dare my wisdom to other people I dare it to myself again and again.So I just reached the point that I am able to say that I am pretty but I am afraid to describe myself as a clever person.

Dear Reader have you ever felt this way?Isn’t it funny how my mind never let me be happy with myself?You know what it’s great.It was a long and hard journey to accept myself that I am a tall,curvy and most of the time pale woman and that’s alright,but I never want to accept that my knowledge is enough.I never want to finish this journey.I want to work on it every day in my life so I am happy to say I am pretty but still not smart enough.

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