I may should rename this blog and I think the perfect name would be “My gibberish diary (and some meditation)”. First of all my plan was with this blog to force myself to stop live in my head.Secondly I wanted to develop my writing and English skills because I love that I know a second language and I don’t want to forget it just because I don’t have the chance to use it.
I started to make drafts and give myself time to see the mistakes.I thought I am onto something even though I still really careful what I wrote and sometimes I still have problems how I share or write about a thing,but after all I was proud of myself because it worked.I didn’t give up and finally I was able to fight my depression thanks to this small blog.However, right now there are some hard things in my life.Long story short my father had an accident and I am his care taker and to be honest I hate it.It’s really hard in every possible way.I do it without a question but right now I don’t even have time to wash my hair.I still find time to write here like now because my father is with my grandmother but he can call me in any minute to help him to come back to bedroom.
The whole point of my story is that I write here because I don’t want to give this thing up even if it’s hard and it helps me a lot ,but right now I feel that anything I write is a mumbo jumbo mix of words and sentences.I am tired and it’s really complicated to think straight.Even if I come back two days later I understand what I wrote but I feel it’s not good and I could do better but I can’t.It is really frustrating.I mean look at this topic like a teenage girl I am just whining about my problems instead of write about something important or interesting.So right now this blog is my gibberish diary.There is a chance that my earlier writings weren’t the best too but at least I felt I did it right.I wasn’t totally satisfied but I wasn’t disappointed either.
Dear Reader I am sorry that I couldn’t be writer I want to be right now and you may feel I shouldn’t even do it,but I will.Because this blog is my oasis and maybe one day I can happily look back here and remember the hard times which I survived thanks to “my gibberish diary”.